Blog

I was getting ready to head to the barn the other day, when I realized that all of my “barn” jeans were in the laundry. Remembering that I had a pair of riding pants, or breeches, I set out to find them. They were tucked away in the back of a dresser drawer, hardly ever worn, heck they looked brand new. As I was about to step into them, I had a thought, “You are not worthy to wear these riding pants. Who do you think you are? What kind of horse woman are you anyway? People are going to think that you are trying to be an equestrian.” Actually, that was quite a few thoughts and they stopped me in my tracks. Whoa! As I considered NOT going to the barn that day based on my pants situation, I had another thought. “Is it true?”

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Looking back at our experience, I recall many things that did not help, some that did, and the blessings that have come from living through this tribulation with Matthew. Following is what I learned about supporting a loved one who is experiencing a Kundalini Awakening.

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I have had horses for most of my life and I am amazed at how much I am still learning about how to train and care for them. This new learning has caused me to rethink a lot of things that I have routinely done with horses and inspired me to make some changes. Here are 5 things I will always do for my horse, Boston. She means the world to me and I want more than anything to build a trusting relationship with her that will last a lifetime.

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A bit over a month ago, I made the difficult decision to sell my mare, Mesa. You can read about my journey with her and other decisions I made about her here. I had been riding her daily and just never felt safe. She is a cow-bred horse with a lot of spark; a horse who needs a job and has energy to spare. I am an older rider with some age-related physical limitations who enjoys a relaxed ride around the dressage ring. Both of us were feeling frustrated.

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I feel like I’m constantly learning new things, especially with my horses! This week I learned that sometimes the best thing you can do with your horse is nothing at all.

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Making a decision can be one of the most daunting tasks to tackle. I have made numerous decisions regarding my lovely Paint mare, Mesa. Sometimes I followed a prescribed method, sometimes I followed my heart, and once I let my decision come from a place of fear. I am going to discuss my most important decisions about Mesa, how I came to each, and what I learned as a result. Maybe you can relate to one of these.

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When he approached Boston with the dewormer syringe, she freaked out and ended up throwing herself on the ground!  Whoa! With that, deworming was accomplished. However, I was in for quite a challenge when it came to deworming her again.

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January rolled around and we had to go back to school. I resisted! My students resisted! The first week back was harrowing! While at school, I couldn’t stop thinking about where I’d rather be and what I’d rather be doing. Ugh, 19 remaining weeks seemed nearly insurmountable for us all!

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I am passionate about horses. There is nothing I would rather do than be with them, and because of this, my lifelong affair with horses has always had an unwelcome companion – guilt.

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I never took much interest in what was going on in the kitchen. My mom was an amazing cook and looking back I wonder if it ever bothered her that I chose to spend time outside doing chores rather than helping and learning from her in the kitchen.

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Every day at 4:00 my phone alarm alerts me with the label, I AM ENOUGH; a gentle reminder from me to me. At the age of 54, I should be a confident woman who knows her own worth, and being a child of God, I should know that I was born enough. Period.

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Last week marked the one-year anniversary of my mom’s death. While I am by no means an expert on the grieving process, I can share some things that have helped me cope with losing her.

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Allowing the wisdom of the heart and of life to flow through you brings a spontaneous intelligence into your existence that always knows what to do and when to do it.

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