Choosing Versus Wishing

Last spring, my husband and I moved to our Montana prairie home. We fondly refer to it as our “little house on the prairie.” We were ready for a change in lifestyle, both in our careers and daily routines. Mike stepped away from the corporate world and I didn’t apply for a teaching position. I was ready to focus on helping people buy and sell real estate, and training my horses. However, the small town 12 miles down the road lost its English teacher after the first quarter and I stepped in for the remainder of the year. As far as teaching goes, this really is a dream job; I have 14 amazing students, teach 3 classes, and work four hours a day. When this came about, I was already committed to being a realtor and working a part-time job in another town 23 miles in the opposite direction from our home, which I have continued to do. So, my daily routine isn’t quite what I had envisioned upon moving here.

I am not planning to teach after this school year ends in May. I started teaching in 1987 and now my heart is truly ready for a change in focus. The 8 weeks leading up to Christmas went well. I enjoyed getting to know the students and finding ways to challenge and inspire them. Then we had two weeks off. I spent time in Texas with my grandchildren, as well as time at home with my horses. I actually worked some real estate, too. January rolled around and we had to go back to school. I resisted! My students resisted! The first week back was harrowing! While at school, I couldn’t stop thinking about where I’d rather be and what I’d rather be doing. Ugh, 19 remaining weeks seemed nearly insurmountable for us all!

As with any challenge I’m facing, I turned to prayer. I realized that I was trying to deny my feelings of discontentment, rather than allowing them. Something my son always says came to mind. “What you resist persists.” All my resisting was getting me nowhere! I was resisting being in school AND I was resisting my feelings about being there. Before Christmas, the cafeteria ladies at school had a bulletin board titled, “What brings you joy?” I recalled writing my answer, “Choosing to be where I am instead of wishing I was somewhere else.” Aha, that’s exactly what I was forgetting! I got this idea from Matt Kahn. You can watch his video here.

The following Monday, I wrote this on the board: “When you choose to be where you are instead of wishing you were somewhere else, you will experience JOY!” I opened each class with this quote, and surprisingly, it made a huge difference; not just for me, but for my students! While I’m in school, I choose to be there and before I know it, it’s time to leave. When I head out to my vehicle in the morning, rather than dreading my drive and worrying that the roads may be icy, I know that I can slow down, shift into 4-wheel-drive, and enjoy the panoramic landscape. The Montana sky is vast and beautiful, and I always see deer, pheasants, and eagles. This week I even saw a coyote.

I do believe that visualizing a bright future is important. I know that I can manifest the life I truly desire. But this is vastly different from being one place while wishing you were another. As paraphrased from Dr. Wayne Dyer, manifesting is about aligning yourself with the feeling of your desires being fulfilled and becoming more of who you are as a spiritual being. You can read an interesting article by him on this topic here. So, while I visualize living my best life, I am practicing presence while choosing to be where I am. 

When I went out to check my horses this morning, it was -18 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s tough to NOT wish I was elsewhere! They were peacefully munching their hay and greeted me with sweet nickers. I burrowed into their manes for good morning snuggles and realized there is nowhere I’d rather be.

I truly believe that my husband and I manifested our move to this prairie life. We have desired an affordable country home for a long time. Not everyone understands why we chose to move to such a remote location, but we know why we’re here and we have never been more filled with joy. This is the 12th house we have moved into in the last 12 years, spanning 6 communities and 4 states. We chose to move here, and because each day we choose to BE here, I believe we will be prairie-dwellers for a very long time.