5 Ways to Make a Decision — My Montana Life

Making a decision can be one of the most daunting tasks to tackle. I have made numerous decisions regarding my lovely Paint mare, Mesa. Sometimes I followed a prescribed method, sometimes I followed my heart, and once I let my decision come from a place of fear. I am going to discuss my most important decisions about Mesa, how I came to each, and what I learned as a result. Maybe you can relate to one of these.

1. FOLLOW YOUR HEART

On January 3, 2016, I drove out to a local Paint Horse breeder to see her foal crop. There were 11 newly weaned foals, and one darling filly captured my heart. I wasn’t even horse-shopping, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that we belonged together. I let this feeling linger until I finally went back 2 months later and bought her. Clearly, I followed my heart when deciding to make Mesa my partner. This decision came from a place of love and I felt elated when I finally said yes to my desires.

What I learned: Every day that I have owned Mesa, I have been filled with gratitude and love for her. Clearly, this decision was right with my soul.

2. RESEARCH THE FACTS AND MAKE A PRO-CON LIST

When Mesa was two, we elected to move to Texas. I had to decide if I should sell Mesa or take her with me. I began researching. I learned that it would cost $1000 to transport her. Board would be $400-600 per month. Purchasing horse property was out of the question. Based on the facts, I decided that it would not be fair for Mesa to leave Montana, with its lush pastures and mild summers to move to Texas where she would grow up in a box stall, a small dirt turn out area, and extreme summer heat. After all, she was only two and still had a lot of growing to do. I just could not justify that lifestyle for her at the place she was in her development.

What I learned: I missed Mesa dearly! However, I felt content knowing that she went to a wonderful home and that she was able to learn and grow the way a young horse should. This was a decision I could live with because I had researched the facts and weighed the pros and cons, even though it left an empty space in my heart.

3. PRAY

After two years in Texas, we decided to return to Montana, much sooner than we had anticipated. I was excited that moving back meant I could have a horse again. Because I have had flare ups with a herniated cervical disc, I decided that I would look for a well-trained gaited horse that would be smooth to ride and easy on my neck. I began to pray daily for the perfect horse to find me.

One night I had a nightmare about Mesa. I dreamed that she was choking to death and the veterinarian was trying desperately to save her. I awoke from that nightmare in a panic and was unable to go back to sleep for a long time, while my heart raced and my mind whirred. The next morning, I popped onto a website advertising horses for sale. As I was scanning the ads, my heart nearly stopped when I saw Mesa advertised for sale. Clearly, I took that as a sign from God that she should be in my life again.

I didn’t even hesitate when I contacted her current owner and struck a deal that when I returned to Montana, she would be mine. Never mind that she was not gaited and not well-trained. That didn’t matter. I just had an overwhelming feeling that Mesa was my heart-horse and that I needed her back in my life again. Besides, it gave my husband something to joke about -- who buys the same horse twice?? Mesa’s current owner was retiring from the horse business, so over the next weeks I purchased her horse trailer and a beautiful yearling Paint filly, Boston, so that Mesa would have a friend.

What I learned: By following my intuition, my sign from God, I have once again been filled with love and gratitude for Mesa. What I didn’t expect was the treasure I received in Boston! She is truly a special horse and will have a place in my heart forever, as well. I had a logical picture of the perfect horse, but my prayers were answered with two horses who fit into my life and heart even more perfectly! God knows my heart.

4. SIT WITH EACH DECISION FOR A DAY

Prior to actually buying the horses, I had to decide if I should buy one horse and board it, or if we should buy horse property and have two horses. For one entire day, I let myself imagine what it would be like to have one horse boarded. I went through driving out to visit, having someone else provide care, sharing a barn with others, and imagined my day-to-day life with a boarded horse. The next day, I let myself imagine what it would be like to have a country home and have two horses with me all of the time. I went through chores, buying hay, finding care for them so we could travel, and popping out to see them anytime I pleased. The day that I spent imagining being at home with my horses was truly a joyful day. My heart felt light and I just knew this was what I needed.

What I learned: By spending an entire day imagining each scenario, I had a good feel for what each would be like. Now that I actually live in the country and can watch my horses grazing in the pasture outside my kitchen window, I am so very grateful for this life!

5. DECIDE FROM A PLACE OF LOVE INSTEAD OF FEAR

As a 3-year-old, when she was not mine, Mesa was sent to a trainer to be started under saddle. She had a rough time with that trainer, bucking at every opportunity. Next, she went to a young bronc-rider who rode her on a ranch for a month. She never bucked with him, but did a lot of galloping and really had no refinement to her training. Upon returning home, she was not ridden again until I started riding her in May as a 4-year-old.

I rode Mesa all summer without incident. However, because I feared re-injuring my neck, I rode rather conservatively, never pushing beyond her (or my) comfort zone. One windy day in August, she stumbled and reacted with a buck. I came off and she stepped on my leg. I got back on that day and continued to ride her in the days that followed, but with more trepidation. I was afraid -- not afraid of Mesa -- but afraid of my physical limitations. I decided that I needed a trainer to ride her through new experiences to see if she would react by bucking. I checked around and a trainer about an hour away was recommended to me. He came out and met Mesa and convinced me (too easily) that she had bucked because she was bored with my style of riding (dressage) and needed a job. His advice was to train her in reining and said that within 60 days I would have a well-trained horse with a job.

I did not have a good feeling when I dropped her off, nor when I didn’t hear anything from the trainer for a full 10 days. When he finally returned my messages, I learned that he had to completely start over with her training and hadn’t ridden her yet because she had been freaking out. I had never known Mesa to freak out -- ever. She had always been curious and calm. I happened to be in Texas with my grandkids, so I couldn’t just drive out to check on her. When I returned home and went to see her, I really had misgivings, but according to the trainer, she was making progress.

I was finally invited out to ride Mesa. He was using a twisted snaffle and a running martingale, equipment that made me uncomfortable. I rode her and felt like she hadn’t progressed much past the walk-trot-canter I had been working on prior to bringing her. He kept talking about her anxiety and reactive-ness. I left that day feeling like his style of training and Mesa’s personality did not mesh. She was not reactive when I was there; rather, she was “checked out.” She was clearly unhappy and had lost her sparkle.

I prayed -- a lot. I was prompted to post in a closed Facebook group of dressage/natural horsemanship folks. Every single responder urged me to bring Mesa home as soon as possible. When she came home, she was either freaked out or checked out. She would explode at normal happenings, such as when the cat jumped from the fence or when a tractor drove by. Mostly, however, she stood in the far corner alone. She did not care to interact with me. In fact, she seemed to be avoiding all human contact.

What I learned: My decision to take Mesa to a trainer came from a place of fear, and I had an icky feeling about it from the get-go. This resulted in a negative experience for my sweet mare and has given me the challenge of re-teaching her that she needs to trust me and relax, when she would rather explode or retreat somewhere within. I need her with me, so that we can be partners. When I prayed and made my decision from a place of love, I brought Mesa home and started the long journey of healing.

WHAT I REALLY LEARNED

I could live with regret from my decision to take Mesa to a trainer, but ultimately, I need to remind myself that if it should have happened another way, it would have. This experience taught me to let go of the fear of re-injuring my neck. If I can’t let this go, I need to let horses go because horses are big, quick, unpredictable animals. If I’m going to have horses, I cannot constantly be fearful of my physical limitations. After all, I did get bucked-off and did not hurt my neck. I need to trust my ability as a horsewoman, with a willingness to continue learning as I move forward with these amazing horses.

I have already worked my way through one of Karen Rohlf’s online courses that has made all the difference in the world with Mesa. You can check it out here. She is actually back to being her calm, curious self most of the time. In fact, she slipped and fell under the fence a few days ago. She stayed calm and waited for us to move the fence out of her way before she tried to get up. It was amazing to see her thinking and trusting, rather than freaking out. I do agree with the trainer that she needs a job, and I am doing my best to offer her variety and challenges as she is ready. As I continue Mesa’s training, I have come upon the realization that I actually have a lot to learn from her.

If you are struggling with a decision and both options are equal, it probably doesn’t matter which you choose. When an answer is indiscernible, both options are more than likely viable. Researching and weighing the pros and cons is a good idea. Praying is vitally important! Before you make a final decision, ask yourself if it is coming from a place of love or fear. Love always wins! Trust your gut -- you will have a “knowing” feeling if your decision is the right one for you.